Theory of love #1: Beauty x Personality x Availability= constant….this constant is always zero…

Ok…I’m only 18 years old as of writing this and so my experience of life is still relatively low…

I have lived on the inner city streets of London, I’ve lived in the outer suburbs of “Bath” and I’ve also lived in the average sized city of Essex…and I have met all kinds of different and interesting people.

HOWEVER!

There are certain things that seem to remain constant with all the guys and girls I have met on my travels…and this is one of those things…

All the girls I meet always seem to have a giant BUT…now I’m not talking about the Jennifer Lopez, widescreen panoramic kind of butt which literally crosses 3 international time zones and can technically be classified as its own moon

NO!

I mean they lack something which otherwise would make them "perfect" and I can’t help but wonder why that is.

For example:

You meet a girl who is truly STUNNING! The kind who you can’t help but watch enter and leave a room.
Now let’s assume that she likes you too…this is where that BUT comes in because 9 times out of 10 she will either be

A. In a relationship (meaning that her “availability” becomes zero) OR…

B. She has the personality of a glass of water and you can barley hold a conversation with her without wanting to suffocate yourself with your shoe laces.

Now this opinion may seem extremely pessimistic…and it IS!

But this is just the way things seem to turn out for me!
you meet someone who is undeinably hillarious and charming but has the sex appeal of female arangatang...or they are in fact dating an arangatang leaving you wandering if mabye you should think about growing more body hair...

Beauty x Personality x Availability= constant….this constant is always zero…

remember this because unlike "pythagoras" and "algebra" this is one equasion which is usefull to know so that when it slaps you across the face with the force of a sexually frustrated Rhino you'll be able to say "well at least i saw it comming this time..."

The thing is I’m sure some of you reading this are probably in a relationship already…so you would think that this rule doesn’t apply to you…I mean technically you’ve found someone who meets your required level of attractiveness…is fun to talk to and be with AND is available (assuming he/she isn’t also with someone else…) but this leads me onto cynical love theory number 2….