Twitter: for people who honestly think we care…

I am brand spanking new to the whole “Blogging” scene so I’m not going to claim I understand how it all works.

However!

From what I’ve gathered is that Blogging allows typical nobodies l(ike me) to document, report and down right SHOUT any significant moments or thoughts that they have had in their otherwise irrelevant and un-important life.

I use this power of Blogging much in the same way that internet companies use Pop-up ads.
I shower people with messages ands alerts which no one really don’t cares about but I do it so that I feel important, and so that I can annoy other people with the very same thoughts that mercilessly annoy ME all day.

I also do it just so that IF I were to finally crack under the psychological pressures of the world and decided to go on a violent killing spree through every MacDonald’s in summerset before turning the gun on myself and blowing my head clean off…(deep breath)
Then at least this Blog will act as a way for newspaper reporters and Media correspondents to see just how “troubled” I really was and then they could give me a nice special feature episode on BBC “Panorama” where they talk about what a sweet boy I was…until I grew up and turned into the walking, talking bag of “Dark Side” that types before you

ANYWAY

TWITTER is much like web Blogging however each entry can only be as large as 140 characters. (i.e a paragraph at best)

The point is it’s supposed to act as a way of updating people on what you’re doing over the course of the day, kind of like “a blog between blogs” but I have one fundamental, undeniable and down right important question…uh…WHY!?

I mean WHO the hell is so important that I need to know what the FUCK they decided to have for lunch!?

I mean THINK about it…People only read Blogs to either be entertained or for significant information…no one gives a Damn about what you decided to put on your toast this morning or what time you decided to take your daily bathroom “Tinkle” or even how you had a throbbing hard-on after watching Mrs. doubt fire for the third time and started questioning your own sexuality (however that would probably be an interesting read…)

When I watch superman, do I want to hear about what shampoo he uses to get his hair so lush and shiny NO! I want to see him get slapped with huge baseball bat made of solid Kryptonite and watch him SQUIRM like a little Bitch…

If I turn on a football match (which I wouldn’t do because I have a brain…that works) I don’t want to know what underwear the French dude with the long hair is wearing NO! I wanna see Girly men kicking a ball around a pitch, all the time claiming to be playing a manly sport yet FLAILING to the ground at the slightest touch like a prostitute on the day the sailors come home….

My point is that Twitter is the biggest waste of time since Spiderman 3 (and that’s saying something because JESUS CHRIST that film was a waste of time…AND MONEY!)

And anyone using it or even thinking about using it should be sentenced to death by Stoning and rest assured I will be at the front row of the “stoning squad” throwing giant rocks and pebbles like an amateur baseball player. STRIKE ONE!