Faith is a real killer sometimes. The brother of Hope and the father of trust…Faith is often the only thing that can allow people to work together.
The problem is I’m really starting to lose the stuff..
No matter where I look, I’m watching people get their hearts broken, spat on, thrown out of car windows, packaged up, sent to Baghdad, blown up by insurgents, sent back Via FedEx and then presented back to their owner on a plate labeled ‘betrayal’.
The truth is that Trust is ultimately a blind leap into the arms of something or someone that you believe won’t let you fall…but the more I watch, the more people seem to be hitting the ground.
On my left I see a great guy, who finds out his girlfriend was playing the late night fiddle with some other guy while he’s wandering what to buy her for Christmas…
On my right, I’m watching a girl suck the face off some dude in the club EVEN THOUGH she’s a got a great and devoted boyfriend back home….then again What’s to say that HE isn’t doing the exact same thing!?
On my phone I hear the emotional tears of a young woman whose boyfriend of 3 years has been sleeping with her best friend for the past 3 months
And as collect all of these thoughts, I find out that my OWN ex got a little too familiar with some other dude back when we were still together, and up until 2 hours ago I HAD NO IDEA!
the Very thought of it fills me with a deep and unshakable torment …the idea that someone who I felt genuinely lucky to be with, happened to be getting ‘lucky’ with someone else. And that I was so enamored to not even SUSPECT IT! I’ll admit it…I feel stupid naive, jealous and angry…and to be honest I think I’m most angry at myself...
AM I CRAZY!?
Is everything I’m seeing really normal? Are my values on relationships and romance outdated? I mean I’ll never admit to being an angel, and I enjoy the pleasures of a good old fashioned sin as much as the next guy…but I have to admit that I’m a little scared by what I see.
When I see people betraying the trust of their loved ones I can’t help but violently push them away from me…but as I keep doing it I quickly find myself running out of friends.
Maybe this is a lesson I had to learn…
I’m much like a child in many ways, energetic, enthusiastic, playful but most importantly very loyal…I can’t expect everyone to have the same sense of loyalty as me…but perhaps I should save my enthusiasm for few people that do.
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