Logic Vs Emotion: Round 1!

People are strange and annoying! If it was up to me the world would be full of chads…Sure it’d probably be a total pig sty…we’d have no functional economy because no one could count and Everyone would spend most of their time in doors playing video games instead of out there doing real work BUT at least we’d all understand each other…I wouldn’t need to do my ‘emotional detective’ work on people and read too much into everything. Allow me to walk you through something that bothered me a couple days back

My girlfriend…without a doubt one hell of a lady. Killer looks, classy as classy could get. More intelligent than an Intel Pentium 4 processor yet stupid enough to waste her time with a sociopath like me. (Thank god love is blind >.<)

So yesterday I called this goddess of mine on the phone…and knowing that the both of us had the next day free I told her that I’d LOVE to see her that evening...providing that she wasn’t busy of course...

And this is where it happens…

The moment…

the exact point in time where the twin towers of my enthusiasm were brought CRASHING DOWN by a simple statement... “I was actually planning on finishing my writing (she's a writer) and going to sleep early”…

I…I…I See…well then…have fun.

And with that…the conversation ends…now I have no right to feel anything in this situation…she’s a grown woman!! She requires space to do the things she needs to do right? I’m not a baby! I don’t need the constant attention of this woman like a defenseless infant right!! RIGHT!!!!

BUT!

As I stayed alone in my room, bored, disappointed and scratching up against the wall like a horny cat during mating season I began to think…and if there was one thing I’ve learned over the years it’s that thinking…is the root of all evil…

On one hand she’s a grown woman!! And a strong one at that…she requires space and I NEED to respect that! I mean I’m not a child anymore (at least not biologically) and I’ve got to give her the room to pursue the things that she wants to do…so far…
logic:1 Emotions:0

BUT

Recently I bought a game for my Playstation called dragon age…its an epic…over the past 7 days I’ve clocked up over 80 hours with no sign of slowing down…

YET!

If my Vixen of Voluptuous stature asked to meet up with me…I would run like I was auditioning for Forrest Gump the musical! I would make Sonic the Hedgehog look like a god damn cripple!

Without a shadow of a doubt I would turn of the thing and meet my lovely lady and the reason I would do this is not because I have to or because it’s expected of me…it’s because I WANT to…so…

(following this simple line of reasoning) perhaps that means she simply didn’t want to meet me…or at least not as much as she wanted to finish her writing…so in terms of her priority list that must mean I come after writing… right?

(I believe you see where this is going…)

And so the thinking gets deeper…

I wander just where I DO fit on this priority list? Above shopping prehaps? What about television? Am I above that? Is she had to choose between saving me or a box set of desperate housewives on DVD…which would she choose!??? Would I even have a shot!!!?? The vicious cocktail of narcoses and paranoia continue to build up a very convincing case…

The train of thought speeds up and I begin to think about where does she fit on MY list…I mean this is a game I’ve been waiting for 6 months to arrive…hell…I knew about the game before I knew about her! I doubt Id even PAUSE it for my own mother…(unless she was on fire or something and even then id probably ask her to keep it down until I could find a save point…)

Yet I easily put it down for this young woman…so she must rank pretty high on my list no?

So I begin to wonder where do I rank on hers…which makes me begin to question everything!

I always approach a relationship from a position of mutual desire…

“I want what I want…and I want you…if you feel the same way about me…then we could help each other out” I understand just how blunt that sounds but lets face it…love is the most selfish emotion there is! Why else would it inspire jealousy in people?

And all of this…all of this doubt triggered by a single polite comment…the logical side of my brain shouts ‘You’re over reacting kid!!! Pull up!! PULL UP!!’
But the emotional side simply fails to listen…you were enthusiastic about meeting this person and they…they were not…why?

In the end (as I’ve learned to do) I responded logically I accepted…I swallowed my pride and let it go (after all there was no real transgression here…) but still…Oprah Winfry once said that the PERFECT man would satisfy not only his partners rational needs but also the irrational ones…I never understood what that meant…but I think I’m slowly finding out…all be it the hard way.