Sex and Basketball

Recently I relalised that the only two major thinking points I have in my simple and shallow life are Sex and Basketball …
I then realized that those two things have a lot in common and I also realized that my philosophy to sex is almost IDENTICAL to my philosophy on basketball so allow me to give you a quick insight into Chad’s Philosophy on the beautifull game...both of them.

Go big or go HOME!

They say size doesn’t matter both in basketball AND in the bedroom however those of us who are any good at our chosen sport knows that this ISNT TRUE…it’s a lot EASIER to be good and impressive if you are gifted with extra… “Height” shall we say. But one thing is for sure, if you are NOT gifted with the height then you got to be smart about what you do…you gotta be able to go the distance…be able to change gear between fast AND when the situation demands it. Gotta know what move to make and what time and last but not least, you got to be even HARDER then any other player on the field.

(P.S just for clarification…I might be below average height in basketball but that is IT! understand!?)

Grind Push, work real hard.

GOOD basketball isn’t easy. Laziness and Selfish play will get you quickly KICKED of the court and sitting on the cold, cold bench!
if you want to just play for fun then that’s great, you can do what you want and play as Loose as you like…but if your trying to make a real IMPACT and show that you actually care about what your doing…then you gotta be willing to put your body through its paces, SWEAT and go to WORK for as long as it takes for you and your “teammate(s)” to get the win.

You gotta be good with BOTH hands…

A basketball player who can only use one hand is a weak player. As someone who to this day still finds himself unable to undo a bra with one hand (so damn fiddly!) This one applies to me too. The basketball court and PEOPLE are both symmetrical and so only being able to do things on one side makes you only half a player… it might work perfectly fine when you’re on your stronger side but… there are two of everything…and so only being able to work your magic one half kind of makes you…”predictable” and as everyone knows being versatile and unpredictable is what makes players exciting to watch (and play with)

Don’t get cocky!

So you’ve made a name for yourself, certain people know you as a GREAT Player and news of your recently successful *cough* games has begin to spread but don’t think that you’re gods gift to the game just yet!

In basketball (and in good old sex) you are only as good as your last game. Just because you blew the roof off last time doesn’t mean that you won’t absolutely SUCK next time so STAY ALERT!

Don’t be selfish…

Probably the most important rule in BOTH games is that you are NOT playing alone…if you were then you could do what ever you want….but when your playing basketball your aim cant be trying to get YOURSELF to score…you want to make YOUR TEAM score I.E you AND your team mate have to be able to leave the court feeling damn good about yourselves, knowing that you worked hard and you deserved your win…

You need to get to know what your team mates habits are, how they think, move and what moves they like to do…in knowing this you can give them exactly what they want WHEN and they WHERE they want it…and in tern, your team mate will probably go out of their way to return the favor…

Love the Game

Basketball is FUN never forget that…
despite the fact that you always want to do your best and be a complete STAR you need to be able to enjoy your time on court…by all means think about what your doing but don’t OVER think it…the game should be natural to everyone (I mean our ancestors have been playing for hundreds of years before us…)

If you don’t like your team mates then respect yourself enough to walk away from them…also be sure to Respect every team mate you encounter There’s NO forgiveness for disrespect in a game as Great as basketball, and weather your team mates like to play a slow patient game or high speed “fast-break” weather they like to play around on the outside for a while or go hard with the inside drive…you’ve gotta be able to keep up and Enjoy the game.

Twitter: for people who honestly think we care…

I am brand spanking new to the whole “Blogging” scene so I’m not going to claim I understand how it all works.

However!

From what I’ve gathered is that Blogging allows typical nobodies l(ike me) to document, report and down right SHOUT any significant moments or thoughts that they have had in their otherwise irrelevant and un-important life.

I use this power of Blogging much in the same way that internet companies use Pop-up ads.
I shower people with messages ands alerts which no one really don’t cares about but I do it so that I feel important, and so that I can annoy other people with the very same thoughts that mercilessly annoy ME all day.

I also do it just so that IF I were to finally crack under the psychological pressures of the world and decided to go on a violent killing spree through every MacDonald’s in summerset before turning the gun on myself and blowing my head clean off…(deep breath)
Then at least this Blog will act as a way for newspaper reporters and Media correspondents to see just how “troubled” I really was and then they could give me a nice special feature episode on BBC “Panorama” where they talk about what a sweet boy I was…until I grew up and turned into the walking, talking bag of “Dark Side” that types before you

ANYWAY

TWITTER is much like web Blogging however each entry can only be as large as 140 characters. (i.e a paragraph at best)

The point is it’s supposed to act as a way of updating people on what you’re doing over the course of the day, kind of like “a blog between blogs” but I have one fundamental, undeniable and down right important question…uh…WHY!?

I mean WHO the hell is so important that I need to know what the FUCK they decided to have for lunch!?

I mean THINK about it…People only read Blogs to either be entertained or for significant information…no one gives a Damn about what you decided to put on your toast this morning or what time you decided to take your daily bathroom “Tinkle” or even how you had a throbbing hard-on after watching Mrs. doubt fire for the third time and started questioning your own sexuality (however that would probably be an interesting read…)

When I watch superman, do I want to hear about what shampoo he uses to get his hair so lush and shiny NO! I want to see him get slapped with huge baseball bat made of solid Kryptonite and watch him SQUIRM like a little Bitch…

If I turn on a football match (which I wouldn’t do because I have a brain…that works) I don’t want to know what underwear the French dude with the long hair is wearing NO! I wanna see Girly men kicking a ball around a pitch, all the time claiming to be playing a manly sport yet FLAILING to the ground at the slightest touch like a prostitute on the day the sailors come home….

My point is that Twitter is the biggest waste of time since Spiderman 3 (and that’s saying something because JESUS CHRIST that film was a waste of time…AND MONEY!)

And anyone using it or even thinking about using it should be sentenced to death by Stoning and rest assured I will be at the front row of the “stoning squad” throwing giant rocks and pebbles like an amateur baseball player. STRIKE ONE!