Dissatisfaction Guaranteed...

Dissatisfaction, the feeling of discontent. The feeling you get when the things you want simply do not turn out the way you want or expect them to. It’s an avoidable feeling on the highway we call life and it’s a feeling that often gives us an idea that something simply isn’t right…

Back when you were a kid it became PINFULLY clear that you would not always get the things you want, if it was so then I would own the largest theme park in the northern hemisphere, my own private island somewhere off the coast of Jamaica and an award winning movie called ‘the science of being awkward’ starring Samuel Jackson as the young and charismatic Chad Barley, but alas tis not the case.

The real problem with dissatisfaction is the deep, unshakable feeling it gives you about the world around.
The feeling that no matter how hard you try…something…will trip you up down the road.

The bible says that we should all treat each other the way we want to be treated ourselves, it’s a very simple concept but almost impossible to ever achieve.

No matter how hard you try someone will ALWAYS find fault in what you do.
The problem with trying to keep OTHER people happy is that happiness is subjective. If a task you perform makes 8 people happy then there will always be 2 who felt you weren’t doing enough (or perhaps even too much) and if you’re anything like me then it’s those final two who will occupy your mind the most…

And here in lies the problem. Everyone opinion of how much is TOO much and how little is TOO little is different and yet people (in general) tend to view their own opinions as law.

The question I ask is this…if dissatisfaction is almost guaranteed…is it worth even trying?

Would it not be in our best interest to act only in our best interests?

Perhaps it’s me with the problem…perhaps it’s naive to be a ‘Giver’ on a world full of ‘takers’. Living to put a smile on others peoples faces is a romantic idea, but who cheers up the clown when he’s sad? Who motivates the motivators when they…well…feel un motivated.

Social theorists for years now have been saying how western society as a whole has become more and more selfish, some blame capitalism, some blame television, some blame global warming (well no one blames global warming but it always seems to come up…)
But a part of me thinks that maybe that’s the way society has had to adapt to itself…and maybe, just maybe this idealist needs to grow up and do a lil more ‘taking’ for himself.

Sex: the tasty taboo

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Logic Vs Emotion: Round 1!

People are strange and annoying! If it was up to me the world would be full of chads…Sure it’d probably be a total pig sty…we’d have no functional economy because no one could count and Everyone would spend most of their time in doors playing video games instead of out there doing real work BUT at least we’d all understand each other…I wouldn’t need to do my ‘emotional detective’ work on people and read too much into everything. Allow me to walk you through something that bothered me a couple days back

My girlfriend…without a doubt one hell of a lady. Killer looks, classy as classy could get. More intelligent than an Intel Pentium 4 processor yet stupid enough to waste her time with a sociopath like me. (Thank god love is blind >.<)

So yesterday I called this goddess of mine on the phone…and knowing that the both of us had the next day free I told her that I’d LOVE to see her that evening...providing that she wasn’t busy of course...

And this is where it happens…

The moment…

the exact point in time where the twin towers of my enthusiasm were brought CRASHING DOWN by a simple statement... “I was actually planning on finishing my writing (she's a writer) and going to sleep early”…

I…I…I See…well then…have fun.

And with that…the conversation ends…now I have no right to feel anything in this situation…she’s a grown woman!! She requires space to do the things she needs to do right? I’m not a baby! I don’t need the constant attention of this woman like a defenseless infant right!! RIGHT!!!!

BUT!

As I stayed alone in my room, bored, disappointed and scratching up against the wall like a horny cat during mating season I began to think…and if there was one thing I’ve learned over the years it’s that thinking…is the root of all evil…

On one hand she’s a grown woman!! And a strong one at that…she requires space and I NEED to respect that! I mean I’m not a child anymore (at least not biologically) and I’ve got to give her the room to pursue the things that she wants to do…so far…
logic:1 Emotions:0

BUT

Recently I bought a game for my Playstation called dragon age…its an epic…over the past 7 days I’ve clocked up over 80 hours with no sign of slowing down…

YET!

If my Vixen of Voluptuous stature asked to meet up with me…I would run like I was auditioning for Forrest Gump the musical! I would make Sonic the Hedgehog look like a god damn cripple!

Without a shadow of a doubt I would turn of the thing and meet my lovely lady and the reason I would do this is not because I have to or because it’s expected of me…it’s because I WANT to…so…

(following this simple line of reasoning) perhaps that means she simply didn’t want to meet me…or at least not as much as she wanted to finish her writing…so in terms of her priority list that must mean I come after writing… right?

(I believe you see where this is going…)

And so the thinking gets deeper…

I wander just where I DO fit on this priority list? Above shopping prehaps? What about television? Am I above that? Is she had to choose between saving me or a box set of desperate housewives on DVD…which would she choose!??? Would I even have a shot!!!?? The vicious cocktail of narcoses and paranoia continue to build up a very convincing case…

The train of thought speeds up and I begin to think about where does she fit on MY list…I mean this is a game I’ve been waiting for 6 months to arrive…hell…I knew about the game before I knew about her! I doubt Id even PAUSE it for my own mother…(unless she was on fire or something and even then id probably ask her to keep it down until I could find a save point…)

Yet I easily put it down for this young woman…so she must rank pretty high on my list no?

So I begin to wonder where do I rank on hers…which makes me begin to question everything!

I always approach a relationship from a position of mutual desire…

“I want what I want…and I want you…if you feel the same way about me…then we could help each other out” I understand just how blunt that sounds but lets face it…love is the most selfish emotion there is! Why else would it inspire jealousy in people?

And all of this…all of this doubt triggered by a single polite comment…the logical side of my brain shouts ‘You’re over reacting kid!!! Pull up!! PULL UP!!’
But the emotional side simply fails to listen…you were enthusiastic about meeting this person and they…they were not…why?

In the end (as I’ve learned to do) I responded logically I accepted…I swallowed my pride and let it go (after all there was no real transgression here…) but still…Oprah Winfry once said that the PERFECT man would satisfy not only his partners rational needs but also the irrational ones…I never understood what that meant…but I think I’m slowly finding out…all be it the hard way.