As smooth as a the back-side of a newborn baby my first year at University has come to a simple and un-dramatic end...however...much like the back-side of a baby, I sense that it’s only a matter of time before I’m going to have to deal with a whole new load of shit...
...so, I hear you ask, what has £6000+ worth of debt and 9 months of your time bought you? What irreplaceable lessons have your experiences granted you...the answer...is actually quite a lot...
you see with no parents reminding you to get your ass to sleep or to wake up, you learn to do it yourself... a simple lesson right? Defiantly not worth the money on it’s own, but it expands beyond this...
Often, even when awake we stay asleep to certain aspects of our lives and the environment we are around. Take for instance Assignment deadlines...we know we have to do them...we know when they need to be done by...and yet...we watch. We sit on face book, read books, watch movies and as the 9 week deadline becomes a 6 day deadline we suddenly wake up! ‘Shit!? I need to do HOW MUCH by WHEN!?”
However...perhaps the largest wake up call for me, isn’t so much one of daylight and School work...It’s more of people and personality.
Simply put, there are SOME people who are worth you’re time people who for whatever reason view the world in much the same way you do, who you can share ideas, passions, conversation, drinks, dreams, perhaps a kiss, perhaps even more. These people will often come with their own problems...often they will become YOUR problem too but with a little understanding and a whole lot of Patience these people can become irreplaceable allies and friends...
Now some people of course, are not worth your time...these people aren’t ‘evil’ as such or ‘bad’ people...perhaps they grew up with a different set of values, met different people, read a different book at a certain point of their life, whatever the reason...they simply do not/can not and will not be able to view and live their life within the same spectrum as you...
Now, neither of these are particularly bad, we all know that some people make great friends others almost seem placed by god to make your life as complicated and frustrating as possible...this isn’t a problem when you can tell the difference...the problem is what happens when you cant...
By far the single greatest lesson I have learned in the past academic year is this one...
“Not all that glitters is gold”
Making assumptions is perhaps the single greatest mistake a person can make in everyday life...often times assuming something as ‘Fact’ can and will make you UTTERLY BLIND to the clues and cues that are staring you right in the face “I don’t care if it bounces, is chewy, smells like chocolate. It’s sparkling therefore it must be gold.”
Although i have done well...my confidence in both myself and the world around me has dropped...some might call it a part of growing up, me...I’m not so sure.
They say “surround yourself with the people who make you feel strong , do not give power to those who make you feel weak”...
When I look back at the moments in which I felt my worst...when I look at the person I was upon entering university and the person I am now...and when i sit here feeling a mixture of anger sadness, disappointment and confusion at a comment which was ultimately 'just a joke' I need to question myself and some of the judgements and assumption I've made...
This is what i will take from my first year at university...
